Where to start? Well, a little response to a response from my last blog.
To all my girls at my coffee shop who I don’t qualify at eye candy:
It’s not that I don’t want to acknowledge your hotness but you are friends and therefore I am incapable as seeing you as anything other than friends and your hotness quotient doesn’t apply to me. I just don’t see it, I know it’s there, trust me occasionally I will see one of you and notice your hotness before I realize who you are and then it’s like being shocked with water, I come to my senses and you are my friend and no longer rate on my hotness scale.
With that being said, does that mean that I rate perfect strangers on my hotness scale? Absolutely! I won’t lie, like almost everyone else out there I see someone and I judge them on some sort of scale, based on their looks, attitude, state of dress (or undress as the warm weather continues), or your apparent hygiene (or lack there of.). I want to say that everyone does it, we all have different ideas of what’s right/wrong, proper/not proper. Most of us equate a person whose hygiene is lacking as being potentially homeless or poor. Regardless of whether the person just isn’t feeling well and happens to be Bill Gates or maybe their water mane broke and they haven’t had a chance to shower, shave or what not we still want to judge them to be less “well to do” or I’ve even seen some people look at an unkempt person with disgust, thinking they are a lesser person, almost an animal.
Almost everyone of us will judge one another, on one scale or not. Remember being single, and trying to determine if that person across the room was a suitable mate? Maybe they’re not good enough for you, or worse yet (in my opinion) you’re not good enough for them. When I met my wife I noted how hot she was on my hotness scale and then I approached her to see if she was a worthy mate mentally. (Obviously since I married her and have been together with her for almost a decade, I found her worthy and compatible.)
As wrote the last paragraph I noticed the term I’ve been using is worthy, but when I used compatible, I think that is a better word. It fits better. After all who are we to determine who is worthy or not? Shouldn’t we all be deemed worthy? The last thing I would want is to invalidate someone by saying they are unworthy. Compatibility is an entire other issue, when two or more people get together there’s always bound to be differences, and those differences can be as minor as a small step or as insurmountable as the mountains on Mars. It really doesn’t matter the size of them to me because each one can be harmful or problematic. The small step can cause the strongest person to stumble or the insurmountable mountain on Mars is only insurmountable because man hasn’t been to Mars yet to tackle it.
A lot of all of this comes down to perception. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Think about it, I see my “girls” at my coffee shop as not rateable on my scale(s), but you notice the word that I put in there all the time, “see”. Perception is what makes everything either a stumbling block, an incompatibility or to deem someone as unworthy. When you think of the small step that causes the strong person to stumble, why would they stumble over it? It’s because they don’t see it or their perception of the depth of the step is off.
A little side note on perception, and please forgive the reference, there’s no intention of calling anyone an animal or pig. When I worked at the Calgary Zoo, I had a volunteer docent(animal handler) with a pot belly pig on a small wagon going around to introduce the pig and explain their qualities to the public. I was talking to the docent and they had mentioned that pigs lack depth perception. When they try to get the pig onto this wagon that was just a few inches off the ground, the pig would balk and refuse to get onto the wagon. The docent would have to pick the pig up and place him on the wagon, and when they were done the pig refused to get off the wagon because as far as it was concerned the distance from the wagon to the ground could be millimeters or miles, and in an act of self-preservation the pig wouldn’t move. Again the docent would have to pick the pig up to place them on the ground. The pig lacked perception, apparently the pigs eyes were too close together and it just couldn’t determine depth well.
Do you see what I say about perception? We all perceive things differently. My wife and I are very compatible and we almost NEVER argue about stuff, even when we do “argue” we usually are just discussing our different perceptions of the same situation or thing. On some things I have accepted that my wife’s perceptions are better than mine, and in other things my wife has concluded that my perceptions are better. Even in interpreting other peoples perceptions we use our perception skills.
Does this make sense? Do you perceive what I am saying? Are you picking up what I am putting down? Do you understand?
We all perceive (yay! I spelled it right the first time!) differently. This is what makes political parties more acceptable to the masses than other parties. Our governments perceptions are what cause us to get into wars and skirmishes. Perception is what allows things to maintain a delicate balance.
Maybe I am putting too much into perception, I’m attributing a lot of what goes on daily to perception but that’s just the way I see it.
One more example just because it came to me and I wouldn’t want to miss this opportunity to quote this movie. In James Cameron’s Avatar, the characters would say “I see you.” The main character didn’t understand it, he thought that they meant literally I see you, but what they meant was “I acknowledge you and who you really are, and accept you.”
Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone say that to you today? That sense of acceptance, that’s what we are all looking for. The only way for us to find it is to give it to others.
I See you!